Multi-Tasking Me

Covert Affairs 2: "Glass Spider"

"GLASS SPIDER"

Throughout this season of Covert Affairs, I have made a lot of snide comments about Annie Walker. She just never listens to anyone, and the writers have her make really dumb decisions just to move the plot along. The recent episode "Glass Spider" was no different. In it, Auggie and Annie finally find out what Jai was working on that got him killed in the season premiere while Annie watched. They realize, along with CIA Director Arthur, that Jai had found a mole in the DPT. That mole was apparently feeding sensitive information to a Russian spy....who else?....Simon! Annie's lover! The one she keeps trying to get info from, who probably knows she's in the CIA already, who she is not supposed to be spending time with anymore, who took her to Cuba in the last episode, and who killed his evil handler for her. And he's here in DC! (Are you surprised?!)

So Simon must be brought in as a suspect in Jai's murder. Annie looks to Lena for approval to start spilling the classified beans to her bosses Joan and Arthur: "Simon and I are doing it. I've been trying to make him betray his spy secrets to me for quite awhile. I think he loves me. Let me bring him in. Oh, and let me do it my way because I totally know what I am doing." Arthur's mad, but he sends Lena to prepare reports on Annie's work with Simon, and he and Joan agree to let Annie try.

She meets Simon in a mall, and tries to convince him to come away with her, to the CIA. Simon looks ragged-- red around the eyes and quite tired. He listens to Annie, but then he gets shot at, and shoots back like a good spy. Then they run. All of this is being recorded by Annie's pin microphone. Then, she stomps on the pin microphone ("Ahhhh! Why is she doing that?! She's so stupid!") and begs him one more time to come with her. He walks away. She lets him.

Back at the DPT, Annie realizes the shooter from the mall had been in the cafe that she and Jai were in before he was blown up. ("Because it's easy to remember a person you might have brushed past in a cafe six months ago!") They identify that guy as a hired killer and try to find him. He shoots himself in the face as Annie looks on with her finger on the trigger of a gun aimed at him so she can shoot him before he commits suicide. Fail, Annie Walker, fail.

Annie goes home. Lena brings paperwork to Arthur's office. Auggie looks around (even though he's blind) and freaks out and calls Annie, "You gotta come in. The DPT people are going through your computer and desk and files like you are suspicious and everything."

Annie finds Simon in her kitchen. He invites her to fly away with him to some island. She says yes and runs to her room to pack. But of course while she's in her room she sees a picture of her sister who is kind of a brat and decides not to. I was actually happy for a second until that happened. She calls Auggie and tells him she's coming back to Langley, then returns to the kitchen. "Wow," Simon observes sadly, "You travel light."

Bam! Slow motion! Bam! Nina, I mean Lena, comes in with a gun in her hand! She looks good-- dressed all in black with sweet leather gloves on to prevent her fingerprints from being on the gun she's holding! Bam! Simon takes a bullet for Annie! BAM, BAM, BAM. Simon's dead, Annie's almost dead. The end.

Husband's guffawing into his pillow! We both knew Nina/Lena was a traitor. 24 made it impossible to believe otherwise.

Covert Affairs Review 3: "SUFFRAGETTE CITY"

"SUFFRAGETTE CITY"

The episode following Simon and Annie's shooting, SUFFRAGETTE CITY, picks up right where "Glass Spider" leaves off. A delivery man saves the day by finding the bodies before Nina/Lena can finish Annie off. Immediately, we get introduced to this otherwordly thing that NCIS tried once where Annie is dying ,but she is meeting people in cafes in a dream state to solve the mystery of her attempted killer.

Apart from these pieces of the episode ("That's so pointless! How does this improve the episode?"), I liked the story. Annie has been set up by Nina/Lena as the CIA mole who had been feeding information to Simon all along, so Arthur and the DPT are investigating Annie as a traitor in order to decomission her as an agent, despite her current medical condition, which is characterized as "uncertain whether she will ever wake up."I tell Husband, "Nina's the mole, of course. She's the one who's been feeding information to Simon. I bet she's Simon's sister or something!"

Husband wonders how I know. I don't; I'm just guessing.

Auggie's kind of mad and very sad. He hangs his head as he waits in the hospital. He sways his cane back and forth and feels out his surroundings. "She is not a traitor!" Auggie yells at anyone who will listen, even at Nina/Lena, who nobody in the DPT suspects because they clearly never watched 24. And really, with all that crankiness between her and Joan, Joan's lack of suspicion is truly disappointing.

Auggie decides to visit all the cobblers who could have made Annie's forged passport, the one she needed so she could go to Cuba with Simon without the agency knowing where she was. You know, the one Nina/Lena had forged for Annie when Annie asked permission to go with Simon.

Auggie arrives at night, and goes inside, calling out the guy's name in a dark house, and I tell Husband, "Nina's killed him. Auggie's gonna find the body." And then Auggie's cane finds the body and he hears Nina/Lena creak on the hardwood floors though he can't see her because he's blind. Nine/Lena should kill him, but she won't, because I'm pretty sure the show's writers are leaning toward a future Annie/Auggie hook up. Nina/Lena takes the passport cobbler's body so everyone at the agency thinks Auggie's imagining things.

Auggie tells Joan he must have access to the evidence against Annie. Joan bristles at his demand, rips him a new one, then tells him how to get access ("So what was the point of Joan getting all mad?" I ask. Husband answers, "Nobody listens to her ever.") Auggie finally begins to suspect Nina/Lena because she smells like lavender, and then discovers that a gray BMW, just like the one Nina/Lena owns, was spotted at the scene of Simon and Annie's shooting. He gets Joan to help verify, and Arthur uses the information to stop Annie's decommissioning and start investigating Lena. Then, they get a call that Annie has woken up.

I've obviously been skipping over the parts where Annie's in her dream investigation because they're pointless, but in the last one she realizes it is Nina/Lena who betrayed her and wakes up just as Nina/Lena begins suffocating her. A guard comes in and asks the traitor what she's doing ("Seriously?! Nina's killing her, you idiot!") Nina/Lena tells him she's doing CPR then karate-chops him and tries to continue killing Annie.

Joan and Auggie arrive just in time to pull Nina/Lena off her and Lena escapes, with Joan not so hot on the trail. At the last second, Nina/Lena stops and looks back, probably on purpose to make eye contact with the one person who is pursuing her, and Joan sees her but still loses her. Auggie's got a doctor in the room to try to revive Annie, whose poor chest is being electrified by those shock things. The show ends with Annie opening her eyes wide and staring at the camera like some serial killer in a scary movie being resurrected.

Based on the previews for the next episode, I'm already mad at Annie Walker again. She's just been shot through the heart and looks sick enough during her recovery, but decides against orders that she needs to go to Russia ("I must be right about Nina being Simon's sister!") and find Lena herself. Because that makes sense. The entire CIA is after Lena and Annie-- still injured-- is the only one who can find her. ("Gosh, she is so stupid!")

I can't wait.

Covert Affairs Review: Episodes Glass Spider and SUFFRAGETTE CITY

I like television. But as a person who generally avoids drama, I don't like melodramatic series like 90210 and Grey's Anatomy and Gossip Girl that are aimed at (mostly) female adolescents. Shows like MadMen depress me. I  disapprove ethically of series like Survivor and The Bachelor, and the only performance competition show I have ever been invested in-- The SingOff-- has been cancelled. 

So that pretty much leaves comedies and procedurals; the BBC's Sherlock, CSI, NCIS, Bones, and Criminal Minds are my favorite crime dramas while The Office, New Girl, and Whitney are on my Fall TiVo list for laughs. Past shows I have also liked? Friends, Off the Map, Las Vegas, Gilmore Girls, and on my second viewing, Arrested Development. My husband, on the other hand, is a little less discriminating in his taste. He will watch anything. No really.

For example, on vacation at my parents' house last year. Husband would select a movie from Netflix, and when I asked him what he'd chosen, he'd respond, "I don't know."

"Well," I'd ask, noting the English subtitles and strangely dressed angry men, "What's it about?"

"I'm not sure..." (Somebody on screen is dying and has engrossed Husband's attention.)

"Oh. Well, who's in it?" I'd ask. (A girl in a slinky evening gown runs away).

"I didn't look." (The girl I don't recognize has karate chopped a group of attacking men and escaped.)

"Um, okay," (Something blows up), "I'm gonna go read."

And this happened every day for a week. 

COVERT AFFAIRS

Clearly, Husband's pretty laid back about what's on the tube. So when spring finales are finally done stressing me out and I can sleep at night without waking up worried for the lives of my favorite characters, I give up on TV for awhile. Husband takes advantage. During summer, the only two series getting TiVoed are Royal Pains and Covert Affairs. I tried to stick through Royal Pains for a season last year, but ultimately was over the brotherly bickering and the obvious setups for future, cliched problems.  For a similar reason, I wasn't into Covert Affairs, either, although I liked Piper Perabo for her long-ago role in Coyote Ugly.

The main character Perabo plays, Annie Walker, is just stupid.

They try to make her not be. After all, she was pulled early from The Farm in order to be a CIA agent because she showed such potential. She knows a ton of languages, can shoot a gun, and shows initiative. Her handler Auggie adores her. Her boss Joan is often undermined by her. Her sister thinks she's a liar and a lousy cook. That Mossadd spy thinks she's hot but easy to trick. She is inexperienced and rash. She gets compromised in nearly every single episode. She disobeys orders. She intentionally puts herself in danger by ignoring her boss's directives so she can fix the problem she probably started. She is obvious. And in spy land, that can't be good, can it?

At first it was fun watching her thrash about, uncertain and confused half the time. What's a safe house? Does Joan like me? Should an Israeli spy know about my safe house? Is he dangerous? Am I? What do I do about my poor sister who doesn't know I'm a spy? Does this dress make my butt look like they put implants in my underwear to add some shape to my skinny bod?

About the middle of the first season, I got tired. "Eh," I'd tell Husband, "I don't want to watch this. I hate how fat our extra-wide, extremely unneccessary flat screen makes her look in those skin-tight dresses they keep putting her in." He'd ignore me, and I'd pretend to read while secretly making fun of Annie Walker, who needs to keep her identity as a spy a secret but is chased on routine operations so often that every spy agency in the world must know what she looks like.

CURRENT SEASON

This summer, somebody on the interweb somewhere positively reviewed the series premiere, so I thought, "Well, nothing else is on, and if I watch Covert Affairs, I can refuse to watch any more Royal Pains episodes with Johnathan, ever."

So I watched it, and guess what? I enjoyed it. Primarily, I enjoyed it because my least favorite character, Jai, was blown up, but I also appreciated the fall out.

After Jai's murder, when the DPT reassigns both Auggie and Annie and introduces Annie to her new boss, Lena, played by Sarah Clarke, Johnathan and I were both like, "Awesome!"

"Yes!" I said, "YES! It's NINA! Nina from 24!" I found myself wondering aloud, "I wonder if other people look at her and think of Jack Bauer's wife [whom Nina murdered in the series 24]? I just can't not think of this woman as being a traitor to the U.S. You know, like the way I can't help but trust Allstate Insurance because they have 24's David Palmer, the first black President of the United States and the only one to ever have political integrity, tell me I am in good hands?"

"Hmm," Husband nods, "She even has the same name as Nina. Well, almost. Lena. I wonder if that's on purpose?" 

So I signed on to watch Covert Affairs again. I cringed every time Annie, on her new assignment to snuggle up to scary yet hot Russian spy Simon ("The Fox!" I nudged Husband, "From the Oceans 11 movies!"), whose kill sheet should have terrified her and made her cautious, tries to take every two-minute break she can find to steal data from his smartphone or laptop. ("Does she really think that 'getting water' from the car is going to provide her with enough time to scan that hard drive? She is so stupid!")And she almost gets caught every time because what spy actually leaves his laptop lying around for a stranger to access while he showers?

My favorite episode so far is the one where Auggie and his new fiancee are kidnapped by Somali pirates and Annie gets them out. I like it because she's stuck in the U.S. behind a big screen surrounded by two bickering female bosses, and though she can't make stupid maneuvoers like she would in the field, she can demonstrate how well she knows her best friend. Simon isn't really involved in that one, so I'm not constantly yelling at her and in fact, at this point I kind of start to like her. 

This is all ruined later, of course. My least favorite episode is the one where she goes to Israel and hangs out with the Mossadd officer and gets mad at him when she finds out he is supposed to assess her for the CIA. Come on, Annie. Of course you're being assessed. You witnessed a friend blow up, changed bosses, are sleeping with an enemy Russian spy/murderer, and your crush Auggie just got engaged. 

She really is so stupid.

Hot Water and Practical Jokes: The Tragedy

Americans are losing something important.

The number of new construction permits issued each month continues to depress (rather than impress) economists and those who listen to intelligent and semi-intelligent media outlets. Still, by 2050, over 70% of U.S. homes will be able to flush a toilet and not impact the hot water of a simultaneously running shower.

The showers in the house I grew up in lost pressure and hot water whenever the following occurred: 

• the other shower ran
• the sprinklers were on
• dishes were being washed (whether by hand or the dishwasher)
• the toilet flushed

The showers in the house I now live in, built in 2005, are affected by nothing except running for an hour. And cold weather (although that's probably a cause and effect thing with cold weather causing me to want to take an hour's worth of shower and having the effect of eventually running out of hot water).

So what do Americans lose by this?

A Semi-Amusing Practical Joke

Who, after all, has not flushed a toilet or ran hot water in the kitchen during a sibling's shower? Who, after all, did not enjoy its effect? And finally, who did not swear to exact revenge (most likely by doing it again when parents weren't around) when that sibling told on you?

Only children, I totally get that you may be feeling left out. Still, I am sure you have perpetrated this joke on a spouse or that totally lazy roommate who never did his or her own dishes.

Awareness

Just as this generation's youth had to google who Osama Bin Laden was when his death was announced, so that generation's youth will have to google (assuming Google still hasn't succumbed to Bing in 40 years), "Why does a person showering yelp when the toilet is flushed?"

They will google this question only after watching an old movie or television show in which revenge is exacted on a showering person by toilet-flushing. 

Which is a nice segue into...

An Easy Gag Joke for TV and Comedy Writers

The overuse of such gags has been discussed elsewhere. Still, many writers will mourn the loss of this good-for-laughs bathroom scene on days they are feeling lazy or not particularly clever.  Fraternity houses will likewise grieve, and for similar reasons.

Just a Teensy Bit More Power

Office drones and blue collar worker bees, this is just one more way The Man can stick it to you. Not only is He giving orders and intricately commanding every detail of your workday, now The Man is invading your home through new-construction and home renovation regulations in order to rob you of your domestic power as well.There's really not much you can do except write your congress(wo)man, watch more televesion, and exercise your right to bear arms in an ultra-secret militia group.

 

 

 

Busy Boasting

"A life of constant overcommitment is not a sign of success, or something to be bragged about. It is a sign of imbalance, a sign we have put our faith in the gospel of busyness instead of in a God who dares us to trust Him and be willing to rest." -- Mason Slater

 

Okay, so I am totally guilty of this. My core sin is laziness, and it affects everything I do, including how much pride I take in being busy. You see, if I could demonstrate to others how productive my daily life is, then they have to give me credit for being a hard worker and not the lazy, read-all day-at-Starbucks, marathon-tv-show-watching person I know I am on the inside.

I almost literally just had the conversation that begins Slater's article:

“How have you been recently?”

 

“Oh, I'm not too bad. I’m taking a few classes, working two jobs, volunteering at church and on the side I’m writing a novel. I hardly sleep and practically live on coffee, but it’s great. What have you been up to?”

 

“Me? Just work I guess.”

“That must be nice." [thinks: slacker]

Of course, that wasn't me thinking the working person was a slacker; I actually was envying her the ability to relax when she got home, rather than spend every second of her non-kid-waking hours on the computer. But did I feel pride in stating all I was doing? Yes!

It's interesting, this stay-at-home-working-mom thing. When I worked full time, all I wanted was to be able to stay at home with my children to raise them myself. But I don't do that. I am home with them way more than if I had a full-time job, but I still do work that much, just whenever I can fit it in. This way, I can explain to other stay-at-home moms that although I do work, I work mostly from home and can raise my children the way they need to be raised. But for those who look down on stay-at-home moms, I can point to my work and accomplishments with a childish, "See?! You're not better than me, either."

And all of this to defend the core of the problem:  "Even though I would much rather be that stay-at-home mom who watches soap operas all day, I'm not because I know that would be totally bad for society. And my kids. And others who see me wearing skinny jeans. So don't look down on me!"

Often, when I feel overcommitted- usually on the weekends- I worry about when I can fit everything in. And instead of waiting on God, of giving him the firstfruits of my time and productivity, I try to carve out time to just do my job. But guess what? I end up distracted (usually by Facebook) and inefficient. On the other hand, every single time I choose to sacrifice the urgent in favor of sitting down with God, I make the right decision and somehow find time to still complete everything else I need to.

So why do I still overcommit and put pressure on myself to do this and do that BEFORE I meet with God? Because I long to be productive, to see results. And the results of worship are intangible, making it impossible to point to them and say for others to hear, "See?! See what I've accomplished?"

Community

I have often wished to have one circle of friends. The result of this would be that the wonderful people we played volleyball with all summer could somehow be involved in our lives during the year because we cross paths at work or at church. And the women I meet for playdates could be the same people I call to play volleyball with or to see at Bible Study, while I would see the girls who come over to hang out with me at night during the day at work or church.

The truth is that while I do get overlap (like one of my favorite playdate mommies who also goes to school with me and works in the same place), it's just not enough. And I don't have enough time to keep up strong relationships with all of the different social circles I live in, so there have been plenty of moments that I think, "Man, I wish I saw these people who I am doing a Bible study with more than every other week." But we all have our own lives.

True community would be enjoying my amazing friend in more than one setting, so that I don't always feel dissatisfied with the strength of my friendships. I often find myself walking away from a conversation longing to know a person more and thinking of ways I could hang out with her. It almost never works out.

Right now, I think I see one or two of my friends a week, so I am not doing so well in this area. I wonder how other people manage it? How many people is the average person close friends with?

A Snippet of Rest

I think I missed the point of commemorating the anniversary of 9-11. I thought it was about remembering the victims and using the footage and film to create empathy with the pain and terror they experienced. Johnathan has been watching movies and interviews about what happened 10 years ago, and after a little while I usually leave because I can’t stand to see that tower fall one more time. But I think I caught a new perspective last night. You see, this week we’ve both been struggling with some goings on at work and it has been affecting us emotionally and spiritually. So I was more than annoyed when Johnathan came home last night and put on yet another documentary about September 11. As I watched, I cried and mourned and was reminded again how horrible the whole thing was. But I came away in a better mood about our own light, momentary frustrations. One of the things the show pressed home to me was that everything we have could be taken away in a second, so rather than allowing the ridiculousness of others affect me, I am working on seeing them in view of eternity. This is the weight of glory, that we have no guarantee in our lives of tomorrow, and that each person we come into contact with we influence, whether for better or worse. In my case, I hope it’s for better.

Procrastinating

Only lately have I decided that I am not, in fact, a procrastinator; I simply de-prioritize what I really don’t like doing. For things that I care about, I have recently started working ahead and gaining time to perfect my work. I say recently because I have really needed to grow into this. In high school, I would put off the “huge” 5-page paper until the night before, then type away furiously until it was done. I can’t even remember proofreading. In early college, despite having a full semester’s worth of assignments immediately available thanks to my syllabi, I gave myself a weekend to work on the “fairly intimidating” 10-pager due on Monday. After I married, I began working full time, but still had classes to finish. So I started to work way ahead on classes I liked (I had all of my novels read for Victorian Novel before I withdrew halfway into the semester due to health reasons), and plugged methodically away at the classes I didn’t. I still enjoyed the plugging away part, mostly because it was a break from a job I liked even less. After I had kids, though, I realized if I wanted to fit all of the things I cared about into one single semester—fall—I needed to get busy months ahead of time. So I did. The 20-page graduate paper turned into an easy-cause-I-did-my-research 30-pages, and I have stacks of recruit mailings ready to go out the door for Randolph volleyball. It appears I am no longer the procrastinator I used to be. So if I have learned my lesson, why am I blogging right now instead of grading papers?

Freed by my Imperfections

In job interviews, I always identify perfectionism as one of my primary faults. I do it for two reasons: 1, It’s really something I struggle with, and 2, It sounds better than saying, “I tend to be the first person to spot a problem with the way things are done.” Perfectionism can paralyze me. It struck again this afternoon as I was grading paragraphs for my writing class. The first one I picked up ended up being the worst one, and let me tell you, the thing absolutely blew me away. I had no idea where to start. I wanted so badly to make this class useful for the student by being encouraging and helpful with my feedback, but couldn’t even begin. Similarly, I put off looking at student evaluations until I’m in a really bad, self-destructive mood, because they make me so nervous. Even though the percentage of students who disagree with me, or my methods, is always small, I start imagining ways I could have reached the students better. This in itself is good for me. I SHOULD try to reach every student I can, but spending time agonizing about the best way to tell a student his writing stinks like my kid’s diaper pail is not as productive. In fact, it’s a time-waster. And I have zero time to waste. Unless I'm on Facebook.

My problem with perfectionism manifests in other ways, too. For example, I completely suck at knowing when to stop researching/writing/preparing papers. I tend to get terribly snappy with my children and husband if my mind is on the work I need to do. This only worsens my mood because I feel like a bad mom/wife. I have a hard time trying new things because of the insecurities dredged up by being bad at something. Johnathan says I stress out; I like to say I am always thinking of ways to improve.

Regardless of the advantages perfectionism offers (like making me a good student), it can also be damaging. As I sat here a few minutes ago frustrated by my daughter's whining and my son's inability to obey rules, I began to feel like a failure as a mom, and since I'd already yelled at my husband I started feeling bad about that, too.

I know I have a lot on my plate. I am taking advantage of opportunities God has given me and doing well (or so I think). But anytime I start to lag in something I get really hard on myself, and that isn't always good. So I thought it might help if I thought of ways I'm not-so-perfect and then found the bright side. Turns out, it's incredibly freeing to release some of the pressure I put on myself:

1. I avoid looking in the mirror for weeks at a time. My reflection does not (always) make me its slave.
2. I am okay with using pre-made ingredients or paying more for groceries when I don't have time to coupon.
3. I hate reading books to my children. I like laying on the ground and playing with them.
4. I react in anger 4/10 times. That means the majority of the time I don't lose my cool.
5. I get really nervous when I speak in public. I'm usually smart enough to pick out a wardrobe that doesn't showcase sweaty armpits.
6. I'm terrible at pep talks. I stumble over my words and say, "You know what I mean?" a lot. But I think I get the message across.
7. I'm bad at staying in touch, but choose friends I can talk to no matter how long it's been since we've conversed.
8. I can always spot a problem, but I'm really good at coming up with a solution. And if I can't, it's a good reminder to pray.
9. I can be truly lazy, but I always feel awful if I watch too much TV.
10. I occasionally did other people's homework when I was younger, but I think the extra practice paid off.

Am I Getting Stupider?

I find myself doubting my brain often these days. It started three and a half years ago, when I was pregnant with Aubri. I was so sick and stressed during that time that I chalked up my forgetfulness to pregnancy brain and miserable nausea. After she was born, I just thought I was sleep deprived. After all, the fact that I didn’t notice the skateboarder in spandex just means I’m tired or pre-occupied. But I started to realize that I couldn’t recall as many names anymore. As I got more into Facebook, I realized I’d forgotten names of people I attended high school with for four years. Through my pregnancy with Asher and his infancy, this forgetfulness became more pronounced. It is now no longer me forgetting where I put my phone (which I “lose” once a day), but forgetting names of people I went to college or worked with, reminding myself over and over to get my wallet before I leave and walking right past it out the door, or double and triple checking a schedule only to still get it wrong. I have gotten worse at math, using new technology, and even driving. Seriously, I’ve put my car in drive to back out of a parking space so many times I’m lucky my husband hasn’t taken away my keys. Am I getting stupider? My brain used to feel so elastic; if I repeated a phone number to myself 10 times, for example, I’d remember it. I committed my husband’s social security number to memory the first time I wrote it down, but two years later I STILL can’t remember what Aubri’s is. Oh wait, she’s three. See? I suppose it’s not surprising that we lose some cranial flexibility as we age, but I wasn’t expecting it to go this fast. Someone explained to me that my brain is probably just choosing to focus on things I’ve prioritized, like remembering to turn the stove off after I’ve done, or what my favorite line of that book I read yesterday is. It’s also gotten extremely good at analyzing the Angry Birds game for the best ways to maximize points. So it this an age thing? A focus and maturity thing? A lack of discipline thing?