Multi-Tasking Me

A Writing Life

A person who writes experiences life differently. The power of words to stimulate, express, relieve, draw attention to, and acknowledge something’s worth empowers a writer to touch the world’s pulse of anxiety or beauty or truth, and capture it. When I write, my thought life is always active. I mull, probe, analyze, and sum ideas up constantly. I look at my kid and think about writing. I work on the budget and plan a blog about personal finance. I read articles and craft responses. I listen to a sermon or an interview and transcribe parts I find poignant. I connect concepts and bridge ideas. A study of Elijah becomes a Googling of jihad, which leads to reading about women in the Middle East, and ends with research on immigration. It’s kind of amazing.

Most of the time, all this thinking about writing stays in my brain. Occasionally it eeks out through ink and gets itself seen in words, and those are the times I feel most at peace with myself. I used to journal my prayers, and that became one of the only ways I could pray. With a lack of time to myself with a pen and paper (I spend way too much time working on the computer), I have since gotten away from regular journaling. My prayer life seems much less tangible because I don’t see my prayers as things of permanence—they merely wander off into the atmosphere instead of proving their existence as when I harness them into written words—but it does feel a little more free, too, since my brain has always roamed faster than I could write. I guess everything has its give and take.

When I write, I get to see a little bit of myself, and I like me more. In a weird way, reading what I’ve written operates as a sort of mirror; the words reflect back a small piece of my thoughts, emotions, and way of being. Seeing myself made permanent in this way makes me feel like I’ve slowed time down a bit, and for a moment I am just me instead of mommy or wife or coach or teacher or cleaner or banker or any number of roles I’ve assigned myself. When I feel jumbled or confused, I gain focus from writing. From focus comes understanding, and from understanding acceptance. I can look back at what I wrote and remember exactly where (and probably, who) I was when I wrote it.

I guess I’m telling myself I should really write more often.

A Letter To Me

I was listening to music on the radio today because Aubri told me she didn’t want to listen to NPR. The song, “A Letter to Me,” was playing, and I have always loved it. It’s just a great idea, and as I listened to it I wonder what I would want to tell my teenage self. While thinking it over, I could only come up with a few things I would want my high school self to know. The following is not in any particular order.

1. 85 mph in a 55 zone is not as normal in Virginia than California. Be careful.

2. Make sure you eat more than just nachos the last day of the Las Vegas vball tournament. You might save yourself a knee injury. Better yet, since that is also the day Grandma dies, you should really leave the tournament early.

3. Learn how to use the phone rather than the internet. It is more effective, faster, and definitely not as scary once you get enough practice. Trust me, I spent three years of 40 hours a week practicing.

4. You knew he would at the beginning, but Rob chooses Leah. You get someone else, and really pretty kids.

P.S. Once you go black, you never go back.

5. Enjoy your body.

6. I know you are always practicing, but try working out on your own. Begin to appreciate the rewards of conditioning and strength training. You’ll get to eat more.

7. It is mean to call someone’s mother, “old.” With today’s life spans, 80 is the new 60, and 60 the new 40.

8. When Ms. Hawkins says you need to “polish” your story, ask her to help you.

9. Once you read Jane Austen once, you catch on to the language. It might seem difficult to get through at first, but read her now. You become a big fan of British Literature and constantly wish you’d read more.

10. I still have all of those books you stole from the school library. *Wink*

11. Thank Mrs. DeWoody. Write a letter.

12. There’s a reason you liked doing everybody’s English homework. That practice of taking 5 vocabulary words and writing them into a paragraph pays off.

13. You don’t regret quitting softball.

14. Never adjust the heater at home. You miss out on a lot during that grounding. Like spring break.

15. Hot pockets burn. But you already know that.

16. You are so not going to be a missionary.

17. That quote book is awesome. And try not to lose your senior yearbook. Odette actually does become famous and you are going to want to auction that sucker off on eBay or sell her picture to a tabloid eventually.

18. On second thought, it is probably kind of dumb to rhyme your valedictorian speech.

19. Never, ever, tell a girl she has small tits. Don’t you think she is self-conscious about that already? And especially don’t do it in front of a guy. You should really think sometimes.

20. You do find a best friend in college. And your sister Katie grows up to be pretty cool. You should talk to her some.

Honorary Mention: Share your doughnut with Mindy. She may not remember her response, but you will.

DownCycle

Today has been a difficult day emotionally. I've noticed that my emotional life operates in cycles-- for two weeks I'll be really great and thankful for the amazing life I have and then have a down week which is usually caused by too little exercise and house cleaning and too much television. We got back from a great California vacation two days ago, and everyone is still getting adjusted. Right now, Asher is upstairs in bed screaming himself hoarse as it's time for him to put himself back to sleep when he wakes up without me holding him. Again. I've had to teach him this too many times. Aubri spent most of the day writhing around, treating me like her personal jungle gym in between whining marathons. Days like today leave me emotionally spent. Which sucks cause my outfit looked good.

Oddly enough, the cure for these kind of moods is productivity. So I ignore the messy house, and I just spent an hour or so recruiting and taking care of a few housekeeping items, although I feel the need to really get in the office to get some stuff done uninterrupted.

I've also been haunted by a very strange dream. In the dream, I was in and out of Sandals Church with a friend of mine from high school who had changed his last name to Van Boughton because he found out that his mother had had an affair and his dad wasn't really his dad. The name Van Boughton came from a book I recently finished by Marilynne Robinson-- Gilead-- and I highly recommend reading it, although I have difficulty pronouncing it-- is it BOW-ton, or BOE-ton? Anyway, the dream keeps coming back to me at various moments throughout the day and I'd like to shrug it off, if I can. Name changes for reasons like that are things I don't want to dwell on.

I think it is time for ice cream drowned in chocolate syrup. I will also change out of my awesome outfit and into sweats. I don't walk around in anything less than that cause I never know when someone is going to pop in. Invariably, whenever I decide to walk around in my skivvies, my neighbor comes over to chat. Last winter, nearly everytime I put the kids to bed early and tried to take a bath I'd hear her open the front door and have to bolt out of the tub and into something decent. So. Sweats it is. Feel free to stop in now that you have my assurances of being fully clothed.

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Puzzling

In my first encounter with puzzles, I impressed people. Yes, I started out slightly concerned that I would make a mistake....

However, my enthusiasm won the day. 

"Daddy! I know a baby is supposed to do this puzzle on her own, but help a kid out? Whaddya say?! I'm cuuuuuuuuuute!"

Oh my goodness! Look at that! Somehow (and I don't know how), one...two...three...four...five pieces have been put in the correct puzzle-place. It's pretty amazing, and this was my first time and everything! But I guess I'm just really good, huh? 

A Family Hike

Sometimes, you just gotta walk. I have been working on doing this (I'm pretty close, too!), but when my parents feel the compulsion, they strap me to Daddy's chest, give me bunny ears, and go. 

 

After a few miles or so, I need a break from the bunny ears so mommy and daddy sit down and take a picture break. Even though I believe the camera to be an incredibly interesting gadget (most likely due to the fact it gets shoved into my face several times a day), Mommy's hair also has intriguing qualities. 

I know, I know-- my hat head is impressive. Thing is, this is actually the straightest my hair has been since I was like, 2 months old. Here, I was doing my best windswept casual pose. 

I saw a deer in the woods and made Daddy go after it. Of course, we had to be very quiet or the deer would spook.  Unfortunately, Mommy and Daddy were so busy being quiet they forgot to inform me, and my animal alarm scared the deer. (For those of you who are uncertain just what an animal alarm is, I can explain. It's basically when you see an animal you like-- say, Kitty, for example-- and then immediately start bouncing up and down and squawking in baby-speak.)

My Daddy chased the deer, and the three of us ended up lost in the woods. Funnily enough, I spotted the thing that saved us. 

I know, right? a glove pointing in the direction of home! Ultimately, though, we made it...

First Food

On Thanksgiving, Mommy and Daddy finally let me try out real food. (All that jealous gazing while they put non-liquid stuff in their mouths finally paid off.) Since then, I have mastered rice cereal and green beans. This growing up stuff is easy!

Mouth Fixation

So not only do I enjoy putting things in my mouth, I am also rather fond of putting things in other people's mouths. My mommy says I don't need to do that, but I'm convinced it helps with the exploration process. (See below-- daddy never knew hands could be so tasty.)

Material Girl

This is my toy. It's a bouncy seat that sings and fishes all at the same time.

It also provides amusement for my feet.

This is my jungle floor gym. It's another toy that sings music, although there are no fishes here.

 

It, too, provides amusement for my feet.

This is my mirror. No foot play here, but plenty of eyebrow wiggles. I believe it's called flirting.

So now that you have been introduced to my toys, you can get an idea of what I do all day long. I know, I know-- I've got some awesome stuff. And they sure wear me out.

Whew-- it's bedtime. I've had a long day playing. 

Horses or Cats?

Horses are my favorite animal because I met one of them that is my age. My mommy and daddy have a cat, but he's not my age, even though he lets mommy hold him like he is. Anyway, here is a picture of my new friend, and me and mommy with her new friend.

Can you see the baby in her tummy?

You can see it a little better from this angle! I make my mommy's tummy a little lopsided, too. 

Here's me and mommy with our new friend! Aren't we cute?