A Fork in the Road

 

  Husband and I have been working harder at integrating our lives in the last month or so. A brief glimpse of our relationship since its inception shows a widening gap that we really needed to close. In the pre-dating "friend" stage, we spent a lot of time hanging out at Barnes and Noble or in the music rooms at Liberty. Since I was intent on remaining single for the rest of my life, I kept my best friend Janell close by on all these occasions; the result was a beautiful growth of community and self-realization that sprouted from my deeper prayer life.
    When God finally showed me Johnathan's daily hours spent praying, I realized that I had found a man I could follow and pretty much dove in head first. Even before we made our relationship official we both knew we were going to marry.

    After a cool 6 months of dating, our passions for Jesus began to fade. Other stuff was replacing it, and we found it hard to stay on the "mountain" of Christ we'd been experiencing. I think we both hit a major river in our spiritual lives around the same time, and we've been struggling to stay afloat ever since. Getting married 3 years later had us on opposite sides of the spectrum. I thought it was going to be harder than it was, and Johnathan thought it was going to be easier. Now, the place that we both came to relax was our home (which needed to be kept clean for both of our sakes,  but neither one of us wanted to do it.) Formerly nomads, we used to rest with each other wherever we were; but a house changes those dynamics a lot-- it's the place to relax, the place you're both responsible for, the place to watch TV and eat and just zone out. I think it got easy for us to come home and flop next to each other without engaging each other. And God love the internet, but talk about another way to isolate yourself! Now we can work from home even more than we used to!
    As our schedules slowly varied and became more and more opposite each other, we rarely saw each other. Our interests and friends diverged, and before we knew it-- we were living completely separate lives! That doesn't really work, when the whole point of a wedding is to enable a marriage of two lives into one.
    When we realized how far out of control we'd spun, we also realized how hard it would be to get back together. It meant sacrifices we hadn't been used to making ("okay, I'll help you fold laundry" was just as important as "okay, I won't text message my friends when you're home.") and it also meant cutting events and commitments and people out of our schedules, and making LOTS of time for Jesus.
    The cutting stuff out has been hardest for Johnathan, and the adding Jesus in hardest for me. But the rewards that we are reaping have been bountiful-- we talk more, have (better!) sex more, we hang out more, and we even sleep more. But the best part is that we are experiencing Jesus more.

Comments

[Brighamyx]

well done, brother