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Something Funny

So on Sunday mornings, Johnathan has to be at church at 6:45 to prepare for the 1st service. While I typically prefer the first service (less special music!) I have been attending the 10 AM service since I meet friends who can't get up any earlier. The routine sort of evolved where I head to Starbucks at 9 AM to enjoy a little Bible reading before church. Many times I meet the youth pastor, Jon, there, who reminds me of California home (he's from San Diego and looks like it.)

Anyway, on Sunday I was reading in this Bible that has the NIV on one side and the Message on the other. I flipped to Psalm 1-- you know, "Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, or stand in the way of sinners, or sit in the seat of mockers."

Guess what the Message pulled out of its butt? "How well God must like you-- you don't hang out at Sin Saloon, you don't slink along Dead-End Road, you don't go to Smart-Mouth College."

And all God's people said . . . AMEN!

The Middle Class American Christian Equivalent to Blinging for Jesus

I was behind a car with bumper stickers today. In Lynchburg the usual bumper sticker array includes one of those Fish symbols with the Jehovah inside, something referencing the rapture and warning other drivers of the possible “unmanning” of the vehicle, and something inevitably patriotic: “One Nation: Under God: Jesus Christ.”

As I practiced saying IXOYE and pondered America’s ability to call itself “Under God” the car turned left and I caught a glance of its side. There was a picture of Jesus cradling a sheep, and under the windows scrolled Scripture verses. I know my thoughts were judgmental. I know it. But I truly struggle with the materialistic Christianity that paid a nice sum of money to have these items painted on their Town and Country van. My mind automatically jumped to the many things they could have spent this money on, what it teaches their children about God, etc. As I write this I think back to Mary pouring costly perfume on Jesus’ feet and wonder if this can be considered the same thing. Any thoughts?

A Little Humor for my Reformed Friends

Beauty Education

My fascination with beauty continues. I can't quite put my finger on it-- what makes people or things beautiful. Husband is beautiful because his body curves in a perfect way-- he is all straight and rounded in the right places! Jared and Beth are beautiful because they are new and tentative and very comfortable together. My Janell is beautiful, well, because she's no other but Janell. Janell is beauty, somehow.

As I think more and more about it, I realize that beauty comes out of what we desire. You are probably thinking of the wrong kind of desire...but I am not sure if I can explain. When we want to see something or hear something, that sight or sound is lovely to us. And taking this idea further, have you noticed we do need to identify what is beautiful to us? You cannot just see a lovely sunset and suck in a breathe-- you have to somehow appreciate a beautiful sunset in your mind before you can really appreciate it in reality. Just like you cannot fully comprehend the beauty of Bach or Mozart unless you actually have a slight base in music. Or you may have to practice a little to find the person at your side beautiful.

To support myself in all of this nonsense, read Charles Darwin. The way he describes the Tierra del Fuegans-- coming from the oh-so-British mindset of superiority-- is pitiless and merciless. But if we were to look at one of their pictures-- from our slightly humanitarian culture-- we would not use the same words.

I don't know. I am getting a little too far off tangent and have to get to work. Good morning!

Worship

    I used to be able to worship to music any time. I loved it-- I looked forward to it. I asked my friends to pull out their guitars so we could worship. When I was traveling with Liberty volleyball, I would bring along my worship CD and really meet God.

   

    All of this has pretty much changed. Now I think it's the lack of songs saying what I can relate to. The best I can come up with now is reading the Bible while the music plays. I cannot relate to emotional songs like, "Into Marvelous Light I'm Running." Why? Because when I worship, I don't want to talk about myself, I want to talk to God. Tell him what I think of him, what I don't know about him, what I know about him but can't quite comprehend. Now, one or two celebratory songs in a set works, but please let's try to talk to God directly a little more often. Celebrations come from the heart, and sometimes I just need Jesus before I can get there. And I cannot get there in most services; since I am driven by words your good, strong music does not really aid me. 

    And honestly, as much as we talk about hymns, a lot of them aren't that vertically driven, either. At least not the ones we play now. And why do we keep playing the same songs over and over? There are so many new artists out there, so many new songs! Why do we have this tendency to stick with songs from CDs everyone's heard? For me, I have to work so much harder to ascribe meaning to songs I have sung a lot.

   

    I think one thing that many worship leaders forget is that we all worship in different ways. I cannot worship just because a song is upbeat and has really good musicians playing. I also cannot reach God with songs that don't say much, or just repeat themselves over and over again (I now have this trouble with most of the artists from Passion). When you play a song that does not speak directly to God, please tell me what I should be thinking about in order for me to get there. Some people are visual-- for that reason do not hesitate to show pictures of Jesus or of nature or of beauty. Others need to be free to express themselves, so please encourage us to worship with our bodies.  And please, do not neglect reading the Bible during worship-- it is God's direct revelation of Himself and exactly what we need to be responding to in worship. When we lose sight of Scripture, we end up worshipping and praying to who we think God is, or as C.S. Lewis put it in ScrewTape, to that corner in the ceiling we always look at when we pray.

    These are all things we need reminders of during worship--during the song set, during communion. Please, please, please, help us reach God in any way you can! We are getting worse and worse at it.

This Other Life

          Sometimes I get just a blurb of it-- that feeling of "this is the way it should be." When it comes, I really feel my soul open up in freedom and I lift my head and smile. I picture the feeling as light casting its glance through shuttered windows. (Doesn't this sound so disgustingly poetic?)

          And then, since it's so fleeting now and not real yet, it passes and I am disgusted with life as I know it. Usually it comes as I realize how chained I really am to myself, or when I hear or read how much Jesus's life really frees us. I know it does, because I really can see it. But then it passes and I just remember knowing the life of Jesus. I live on memories half the time, and die when the memories get sparse. But there is a whole other, engaging life that I miss since I thoroughly muddle it with my own. It's spiritual, human, pure, and altogether free of materialism, intellectualism, ignoramous, individualism, unitarianism. I wish it were mine so much!

        My posts lately have been very dry and sad. The strange thing is that I am not very dry and sad. I am not despairing or suffering "malaise", I just miss Jesus. I was in Home Depot today with Husband, in the garden section for flower bed siding, and that old song was playing-- I can't even remember who sings it or what it's called. But the song makes me think of how I treat Jesus (okay I just found the thing and I am going to put it all. It's by Vertical Horizon):   

" Somewhere there's speaking
It's already coming in
Oh, and it's rising at the back of your mind

You never could get it
Unless you were fed it
Now you're here and you don't know why

But under skinned knees
And the skid marks
Past the places where you used to learn

You howl and listen
Listen and wait for the
Echoes of angels who won't return

CHORUS:

He's everything you want
He's everything you need
He's everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
He says all the right things
At exactly the right time
But he means nothing to you
And you don't know why

You're waiting for someone
To put you together
You're waiting for someone to push you away

There's always another
Wound to discover
There's always something more you wish he'd say

CHORUS

But you'll just sit tight
And watch it unwind
It's only what you're asking for
And you'll be just fine
With all of your time
It's only what you're waiting for

Maybe a Little Despondent --by Raine Smart

As life rushes slowly on and fills all
with a sense of rational anarchy
I fear You and what You can
    do to get me to land
    face down in your will

     because I still fail-- frail, pale, unstable as the leaf
orange in autumn, dead in winter, and green in spring--

    Very Green, I am novice, immature, uncouth, and angry
    And join all around who have found this same round of

         "Which way did God go, George?"
A smorgasbord of ignorance and complacence and assumption and corruption and consumption
Smell that? Rotting souls. I think that stink is....me

unclean, unfree, unholy...

Speaking washing, amnesty, and purity to everyone

The Five Seasonal Changes

So things are going to be different soon. I love change-- and I can smell it coming!

First are my travel plans-- I will be going home both in November and December for a week apiece. I haven't been home since last Christmas (almost a full year) and I am very much looking forward to it. However, my family seems to be a mess-- I have been getting text messaged left and right from my sisters and brother about one parent or the other. This absolutely breaks my heart, because I understand where they are coming from. Still, I look forward to a week's stay and spending time with some of the greatest people in the world!

Second is what I am doing at work. Now, I am still doing the same job, but with my amazing skills come a lot more responsibility (which means a lot less of what I actually am supposed to do.) It's thoroughly beautiful.

Third is in what I am reading. I love British lit, but with this Contemporary American Lit class I'm in, I find myself being drawn more and more to this post-modern, existentialist array of talent. For the first time in my life (and possibly never to be repeated) I am writing papers when I don't need to! I do this for no other reason than to help me analyze the text; maybe this means I am ready for grad school....

Fourthly is with what will be happening after Christmas. Neither Husband nor I have a clue. Why? Johnathan's salary at church will most likely be cut, which means he will need to get another job. Johnathan is going to a church in Ohio the weekend I will be at home in November to see its vision and find if it matches ours, but we may decide to stay here in Lynchburg as well. The thing (aside from our recently-bought house as the new love of my life) is that we can both go for free to grad school at Liberty, but neither one of us are sure what God wants us to do.

This is the change in a nutshell. Pray for us as we decide what God's next step for us is.

The question posed to LU English majors

The debate among the LU English majors

    Flannery O'Connor, Catholic author of short stories such as "A Good Man is Hard to Find" summarizes a prevailing viewpoint-- that Christian literature sucks. "Poorly written novels-- no matter how pious or edifying the behavior of the characters-- are not good in themselves and are therefore not really edifying." To counter the immediate objection that some Christians will have, she adds that "we have plenty examples in this world of poor things being used to good purposes. God can make any indifferent thing, as well as evil itself, an instrument of good; but I submit that to do this is the business of God and not of any human being."

    One of my professors, Dr. K Prior, supports this and claims that "developing a taste for aesthetic goodness helps to develop a taste for moral goodness." She even goes so far as to ask, "Is bad taste a sin?" She cites as a reference the fact that in the Bible, the word God uses for "good" includes both aesthetic and moral goodness.

    All the really smart English majors who are hippy and scornful and wear hair accessories like bandanas and braids agree with O' Connor. I, who have no distinct style and employ sarcasm frequently and wear my hair in a ponytail and read all the time, do not know if I agree. You see, just like some of you like bad music and know it's bad, I will read a poorly written book and still enjoy the experience-- not necessarily the story line or the poorly written character but the mere experience of reading. I do find myself enjoying this less and less, and prefer to read of experience outside the realm of Christian lady and Christian man finding each other (because it's never that easy-- as my friend Melissa said to me the other day, "I've stopped searching for the mature, sincere Christian man because every time I've found one, he disappears when we leave church.") Maybe I am developing my aesthetic taste at a more increased pace....

   A debate is going on at ragamuffinsoul.com about something sort of similar. Click here to read it.  As I read through all the comments and replies to this letter, one thing kept sticking out to me: the author does not appreciate Christian praise and worship songs for several reasons: 1) Christian praise and worship is birthed from a narrow viewpoint and appeals to a narrow audience, 2) employs cliches and remains unoriginal, 3) is not culturally relevant, 4) is poorly written. (Disclaimer: I read the letter and debate once, am now unable to access it, and have therefore quite probably infused my own color into the author's opinions) Personally, I share Stephen's linguistic aspirations and am also quite sensitive to words. I, too, find many contemporary worship songs unappealing because they don't say anything. When I express myself to my Creator in and through music, I want to tell Him something, and I want to tell it well. 

    This really makes me consider the question.

    "Is bad taste a sin?"

     Possibly. What do you think?