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On Friends and Meaning

I think that with the advent of Myspace and Facebook the meaning of the word "friend" will be forever different. I was talking with my former roommate Tyler, and asked if what we were listening to (we were in the car) was Todd Agnew. "Yep. Hey, he's my friend, you know."

"Really, how'd you meet him?"

"Oh, I didn't meet him. He's my friend on MySpace."

Huh. Weird.

So my co-worker Faith has a picture of Michael Tait in her cubicle, and yesterday I asked her about him.
"Yeah, we're friends."

I smiled-- this type of thing I understood, now!-- "On Facebook or MySpace?"

"Oh, um. Both, I guess. But I meant that we were actually friends. Like we know each other."

Huh.

Oh, and while we're on the subject of the changeable nature of the English language, has anyone noticed the new verbs out there that are related to these networks? Two days ago, a girl I knew facebooked me to see if I was going to Jerry' funeral, and Johnathan was myspaced by his friend Sean to remind him about their lunch meeting.

This is why I love English. And frankly, I don't know how dictionaries keep up.

On Why I Can't Speak Good

    Words subject me. They roll and hiss and spark and spit and live. They can slap or hug, silence or excite, frighten or strengthen.

     It is not just that words signify the thing signified; they have power of their own. In being our way of connecting with each other and in being God's way of connecting with-- how can words be as fluid as they are?

     I feel they slip out of my grasp like the smell of something I crave but can't have. They are always hiding just behind my eyelids when I need them to be on the tip of my teeth. They are always manifested in my face when I need them to be locked in my mind. They are always gamboling about like children at a pool-- taking a running start and jumping off my tongue like it's a springboard.

   

But I see sin there, too. Crouching by the side of the cess-pool. Maybe in winter-- when my words die in my throat-- fewer people will drown.

Beauty Education

My fascination with beauty continues. I can't quite put my finger on it-- what makes people or things beautiful. Husband is beautiful because his body curves in a perfect way-- he is all straight and rounded in the right places! Jared and Beth are beautiful because they are new and tentative and very comfortable together. My Janell is beautiful, well, because she's no other but Janell. Janell is beauty, somehow.

As I think more and more about it, I realize that beauty comes out of what we desire. You are probably thinking of the wrong kind of desire...but I am not sure if I can explain. When we want to see something or hear something, that sight or sound is lovely to us. And taking this idea further, have you noticed we do need to identify what is beautiful to us? You cannot just see a lovely sunset and suck in a breathe-- you have to somehow appreciate a beautiful sunset in your mind before you can really appreciate it in reality. Just like you cannot fully comprehend the beauty of Bach or Mozart unless you actually have a slight base in music. Or you may have to practice a little to find the person at your side beautiful.

To support myself in all of this nonsense, read Charles Darwin. The way he describes the Tierra del Fuegans-- coming from the oh-so-British mindset of superiority-- is pitiless and merciless. But if we were to look at one of their pictures-- from our slightly humanitarian culture-- we would not use the same words.

I don't know. I am getting a little too far off tangent and have to get to work. Good morning!

Word Vomit

      I take issue with the word "Blog". It sounds nasty. I don't at all like its connotations--when I hear "blog" I see "blah" and think "unintelligent people using the internet as a way to put themselves out there."

      And then I remember I have one. I try to refer to it more as a website, but actually I rarely refer to it all. When I am in the company of really smart people I pretend Facebook is the place to be and that I am not on Facebook very much because I don't have a lot of time.

    To tell the truth, I hardly ever Facebook because I don't trust the smart people at my school. They're too scornful of anything they don't see value in, and if they saw value in having a "website", well then I'm sure they would have advertised it already.

      But I see value in this page you find yourself visiting. What is that value? I am not entirely sure, but I can tell you what it's not and some of what it is: it's not literature, it's practice; it's not essays or articles, it touches a more personal note; it's not quite relationships, but an introduction and letters in the mail; it's not censored, but a little dangerous; it's mass produced, but individualistic; and it's certainly not authoritative, since it's subjective.

    So I would appreciate it if we could come up for another name for this type of site-- "blog" is only appropriate for the ones I don't like. Such an ugly word should not be assigned to something so  intrisincally valuable

From JARED

    My friend Jared and I have been talking. I thought we'd share what we've been discussing. The following post is an e-mail Jared wrote in response to me in response to him. Good questions, which I haven't answered yet, incidentally.

"Yeah I dont know how we're supposed to make culture subservient to Christianity.
I like a lot of your ideas, Rach.
(Incidentally, if you're interested in the whole living homeless a little while thing - this is a book I read at NU which I really really loved - not a Christian author (that I know of) but really insightful)
Take a group like U2.  There's a group with phenomenal ability and popularity - and yet I think a great deal of salt in their music and lyrics.  I've always felt Jars of Clay has done a brilliant job of this balancing act too.
Anyhow - I don't know what's best.  Take scare-mare for example. {Rachel's EDIT: ScareMare is a haunted house put on by Christians to literally scare the hell out of people}  What do you think about that kind of event?  I've never been - so it's unfair of me to judge it - but that type of idea has always creeped me out (not in the halloween sense - just generally).

One thing I've been thinking about are the arts that I love so much - namely, drumming, singing, jazz and theatre.  In what ways should I/can I legitimately (and by legitimately I mean in such a way as to not compromise their quality) make them subserviant to my Christianity.  Drumming particularly is interesting to me in that - primarily, I enjoy it at it's most basic level - rhythm.  That is - merely the joy of being in time - or out of time!  Just this innate rhythmic sense that God has put in my soul.  Drumming itself can conjure very primal/spiritual feelings in oneself.  Thus, for me at least, it can be a worshipful experience to just enjoy the groove. But how do I turn that outward?  How do I in any way make my grooves glorify God?  Answer?  No clue.

Not sure if I just went on a tangent or if we're still discussing the same thing.  My mind is kind of scattered this morning.
What are your thoughts?

The rest of the e-mails are in the extended post. Click below! 

The Art of Naming

    My friend Katie is pregnant with her and her husband's first child. They are not telling people what they decide to name the baby; but they have been pouring over baby-name books to come up with quite a large selection. I actually read the baby-name book, which was more like a name dictionary, when I visited them in their home on Sunday. That was a lot of fun, actually. Names are so rich and full of taste and meaning.

    What is important to you in the Art of Naming? I look for a name that has beautiful sounds. I try to avoid names that contain fricatives or africatives. This means 'f's "sh's" "dg's" "ch's" "v's" are mostly out. Keeping mind that names, like Victoria or Falisha are beautiful, I still prefer names which contain sonorants. (l's, r's, etc). I am also a big proponent of the long 'A'. Don't say the "a" in "ana" or "ava" as you would in "apple." Say it as you would in "audible."

    In addition to the name's sounds, I care about how generic it is. Names like "Sarah" sound beautiful, but old hat. I want a name to be original-- but not so much so that it is automatically associated with a specific ethnic or cultural group. This includes names that make you think "Black guy" "Southern girl" "Hippie parents" and "Christians!"

    I'm not a big trend person either. Unfortunately. I really do like a lot of trendy names, like "Riley" "Logan" "Madison" "Gabriella," These fit all my criteria, except they're too trendy.

    I also have to contend with Husband, who instantly dismisses my favorites ("Hannah" "Julia" "Brienne") as "too white!" Well, what's white?

    "I don't know. It just sounds too white."

    But Hannah's Hebrew!

    "It's too white."

Oh whatever. We always agree on boys names-- it's the girls names which matter more to me anyways. Maybe because I'm a girl.

But to the point. (Which is not the naming of children). I was thinking of names for the next new car model. The names have to be classy, streamlined, and not mean too much culturally. Therefore, names like "Civic" "Taurus" "Camry" "Scion" "Saturn" are good and lasting names.

It's interesting, and to tell the truth, I can't think of what could possibly come next. "Element" was a new one-- but you can't really branch off it and name a car "fire" "earth" "water" or "wind," could you? How about jewel tones? "Topaz" "Opal" "Azul?" A few of these work. No good planetary names out there-- "Orion", maybe? Definitely not "Scorpio".

Any ideas?

Maybe a Little Despondent --by Raine Smart

As life rushes slowly on and fills all
with a sense of rational anarchy
I fear You and what You can
    do to get me to land
    face down in your will

     because I still fail-- frail, pale, unstable as the leaf
orange in autumn, dead in winter, and green in spring--

    Very Green, I am novice, immature, uncouth, and angry
    And join all around who have found this same round of

         "Which way did God go, George?"
A smorgasbord of ignorance and complacence and assumption and corruption and consumption
Smell that? Rotting souls. I think that stink is....me

unclean, unfree, unholy...

Speaking washing, amnesty, and purity to everyone

Don't Much Like Poetry, but...

Excerpt from "The People, Yes"
-- Carl Sandburg

The people yes
The people will live on.
The learning and blundering people will live on.
    They will be tricked and sold and again sold
And go back to the nourishing earth for rootholds,
    The people so peculiar in renewal and comeback,
    You can't laugh off their capacity to take it.
The mammoth rests between his cyclonic dramas.

The people so often sleepy, weary, enigmatic,
is a vast huddle with many units saying:
    "I earn my living.
    I make enough to get by
    and it takes all my time.
    If I had more time
    I could do more for myself
    and maybe for others.
    I could read and study
    and talk things over
    and find out about things.
    It takes time.
    I wish I had the time."

The people is a tragic and comic two-face: hero and hoodlum:
phantom and gorilla twisting to moan with a gargoyle mouth:
"They buy me and sell me...it's a game...sometime I'll
break loose..."

    Once having marched
Over the margins of animal necessity,
Over the grim line of sheer subsistence
    Then man came
To the deeper rituals of his bones,
To the lights lighter than any bones,
To the time for thinking things over,
To the dance, the song, the story,
Or the hours given over to dreaming,
    Once having so marched.

Between the finite limitations of the five senses
and the endless yearnings of man for the beyond
the people hold to the humdrum bidding of work and food
while reaching out when it comes their way
for lights beyond the prison of the five senses,
for keepsakes lasting beyond any hunger or death.
    This reaching is alive.
The panderers and liars have violated and smutted it.
    Yet this reaching is alive yet
    for lights and keepsakes.

    The people know the salt of the sea
    and the strength of the winds
    lashing the corners of the earth.
    The people take the earth
    as a tomb of rest and a cradle of hope.
    Who else speaks for the Family of Man?
    They are in tune and step
    with constellations of universal law.
    The people is a polychrome,
    a spectrum and a prism
    held in a moving monolith,
    a console organ of changing themes,
    a clavilux of color poems
    wherein the sea offers fog
    and the fog moves off in rain
    and the labrador sunset shortens
    to a nocturne of clear stars
    serene over the shot spray
    of northern lights.

    The steel mill sky is alive.
    The fire breaks white and zigzag
    shot on a gun-metal gloaming.
    Man is a long time coming.
    Man will yet win.
    Brother may yet line up with brother:

This old anvil laughs at many broken hammers.
    There are men who can't be bought.
    The fireborn are at home in fire.
    The stars make no noise,
    You can't hinder the wind from blowing.
    Time is a great teacher.
    Who can live without hope?

In the darkness with a great bundle of grief
    the people march.
In the night, and overhead a shovel of stars for keeps, the people
march:
    "Where to? what next?"

The question posed to LU English majors

The debate among the LU English majors

    Flannery O'Connor, Catholic author of short stories such as "A Good Man is Hard to Find" summarizes a prevailing viewpoint-- that Christian literature sucks. "Poorly written novels-- no matter how pious or edifying the behavior of the characters-- are not good in themselves and are therefore not really edifying." To counter the immediate objection that some Christians will have, she adds that "we have plenty examples in this world of poor things being used to good purposes. God can make any indifferent thing, as well as evil itself, an instrument of good; but I submit that to do this is the business of God and not of any human being."

    One of my professors, Dr. K Prior, supports this and claims that "developing a taste for aesthetic goodness helps to develop a taste for moral goodness." She even goes so far as to ask, "Is bad taste a sin?" She cites as a reference the fact that in the Bible, the word God uses for "good" includes both aesthetic and moral goodness.

    All the really smart English majors who are hippy and scornful and wear hair accessories like bandanas and braids agree with O' Connor. I, who have no distinct style and employ sarcasm frequently and wear my hair in a ponytail and read all the time, do not know if I agree. You see, just like some of you like bad music and know it's bad, I will read a poorly written book and still enjoy the experience-- not necessarily the story line or the poorly written character but the mere experience of reading. I do find myself enjoying this less and less, and prefer to read of experience outside the realm of Christian lady and Christian man finding each other (because it's never that easy-- as my friend Melissa said to me the other day, "I've stopped searching for the mature, sincere Christian man because every time I've found one, he disappears when we leave church.") Maybe I am developing my aesthetic taste at a more increased pace....

   A debate is going on at ragamuffinsoul.com about something sort of similar. Click here to read it.  As I read through all the comments and replies to this letter, one thing kept sticking out to me: the author does not appreciate Christian praise and worship songs for several reasons: 1) Christian praise and worship is birthed from a narrow viewpoint and appeals to a narrow audience, 2) employs cliches and remains unoriginal, 3) is not culturally relevant, 4) is poorly written. (Disclaimer: I read the letter and debate once, am now unable to access it, and have therefore quite probably infused my own color into the author's opinions) Personally, I share Stephen's linguistic aspirations and am also quite sensitive to words. I, too, find many contemporary worship songs unappealing because they don't say anything. When I express myself to my Creator in and through music, I want to tell Him something, and I want to tell it well. 

    This really makes me consider the question.

    "Is bad taste a sin?"

     Possibly. What do you think?

Expressions

We discussed language yesterday and my professor- Dr. Prior- made the statement that language is a reflection of God. She wanted us to get in under that sentence and bring out all the mud. We had just been talking about different characteristics people attribute to God-- eternal, kind, angry, omnipotent-- and it struck me how much language shapes our worldviews. We all sense a vague difference in the words "joy" and "happy", but according to dictionary.com the definition of "joy" is "happiness." You can see when I am happy, but you can feel when I am joyful.

So anyway, I was thinking about how language is our expression of God-- the way we are able to wrap our minds around concepts like joy and eternality and justice.

We moved on to talk about the power of language, and somebody brought up how God spoke the world into being. Words came....and *bam*- life existed. But this connected with the first thing I was thinking about and I realized how you and I and my dog and that sunset are simply an expression of God. He was expressing Himself and created us....